Terms
The short version: we write about your league, we never touch your money, and anyone can leave whenever they want.
Last updated August 2026.
Who runs this
Assistant to the Commissioner is run by one person, not a company. There is no LLC behind it yet, and this page will say so plainly when that changes. Everything below is an agreement with that person.
The way to reach us about anything on this page, including having something removed, is hello@assttothecommish.com. It reaches a human, usually the same day.
What this is
Assistant to the Commissioner reads your fantasy league's public history and writes about it. It sends reminders, answers questions about your own rules, and publishes a recap. It is entertainment. It is not a fantasy platform and it does not run your league.
What it is not
- Not your commissioner Nothing the assistant writes is a ruling. Your commissioner decides everything, the same as before. If the assistant quotes your constitution and gets it wrong, your constitution is still what counts.
- Never holding your money We do not take, hold, escrow, transfer or distribute your league's dues or its pot. Whatever you already do to pay each other, keep doing. We only ever remind people.
- Never taking a cut We charge a flat fee for the season. We take no percentage of anything, which is what keeps this a writing service rather than a gambling operator.
- Never pressing a button in your league We cannot execute a trade, set a lineup, process a waiver or change a setting on any platform. Read access only.
What we write, and about whom
The assistant writes jokes and judgments about named people, using two sources: your league's own records, and things your leaguemates typed into our onboarding about each other. That is the product. If that is not what you want, do not sign your league up.
Some lines we will not cross, ever. Nothing about anybody's appearance, health, family, money troubles, or anything else a person did not choose. Decisions are fair game. People are not.
If something published about you is wrong, or you want it gone, write to hello@assttothecommish.com and we will remove it. You do not need a reason.
What you promise us
- You are 18 or older.
- If you sign up a league, you speak for it, and the people in it know they are in it.
- Anything you write about another person is something you have the right to share.
- You will not use this to harass anybody. Being brutal about a draft pick is the point. Using us to get at a person is not, and we will end an account over it.
Witnessed agreements
Anybody in a league can ask the assistant to "witness" a promise or a bet between friends, like loser hosts next year's draft. That is entertainment record-keeping and nothing more. We are not a party to any agreement, we hold no stakes, we collect and pay out nothing, and we enforce nothing. Anything with money on the line is refused outright. Being witnessed here does not make an agreement binding or legal if it was not already, and we can decline or remove any witnessed agreement at any time.
The writing is generated, and generated writing is sometimes wrong
Recaps are written by a language model working from your league's data. We check the numbers hard and we would rather cut a joke than invent a fact, but we cannot promise every sentence is correct. Do not settle a bet with it.
Money
$10 per person, per season, paid once by whoever signs the league up. It does not renew by itself. We will ask again next year like everybody else.
Seven days to change your mind. Every cent back, no questions and no email to write: there is a button on your own page that does it. After seven days, none.
We do not call that a free trial, because we take the money on the day. It is a guarantee, and the difference matters to us even if it does not to you.
Ending it
You can stop at any time and we will stop writing. Any member can leave on their own with the unsubscribe link on every message, whatever their commissioner wants. We can end an account that is using this to hurt somebody, and we will not be slow about it.
The boring part
We provide this as it is, without warranty. To the extent the law allows, what we owe you if something goes wrong is capped at what you paid us. These terms may change; if they change in a way that matters we will email the person who signed the league up.